but what shall I wear ...?

The fencing club dinner approaches. I don't go every year but this year. budgeting carefully, I chose it over the slightly more expensive work Christmas dinner. The food won't be so good (the venue has unadventurous ideas on what vegetarians eat) but I'll enjoy the company and won't feel compelled to be on my best behaviour. But this sets up a difficult problem. The dinner has a dress code.

Last year the rules were simple: no jeans or trainers. A simple blouse and skirt sufficed. But the committee, perhaps overpowered by the vision of elegance so many created last year, have come up with a stricter dress code. The man are asked to wear dinner jackets with bow ties or suits and ties. And the women are expected to turn up in cocktail dresses.

I don't have a cocktail dress. I don't even know what a cocktail dress is. I'm reluctant to purchase anything that sounds so extravagant in these cash-strapped times, especially since it might require the additional purchase of cocktail shoes, if such items exist. Nonetheless, I spent part of two days wandering in and out of shops, looking for second-hand items in charity shops or bargains in the sales.

It wasn't a success. I returned home from one excursion with two pairs of gloves (my hands were cold and there was a special offer of two pairs for £1). And I came home from the other carrying - with some difficulty - a new mop and broom. Perhaps I was inspired by thoughts of Cinderella. But I fear my fairy godmother's unlikely to appear.

I've been searching the internet for ideas. But although I've found pictures of cocktail dresses and women with swords, I haven't yet found the sort of cocktail dress that goes well with an epee. And the costume question is taking up far too much of my time.

I wonder if men have the same anxieties. Perhaps they all have decent suits and ties. (It might be more fun if women wore suits and men wore the cocktail dresses - I'd like to see them manage high heels and I'm sure the Oxfam shop would supply me with a suitable tie.) But, much as I admire the extravangant costumes of 17th century fencers, I also look back with nostalgia to an era where a fencer could wear casual clothes to fight with elegant courage - even in a great fortress.