Too little stabbing

I've seen quite a few chandeliers during the summer but I didn't swing from any of them. I saw some horses and didn't leap on their backs. I've been up and down spiral staircases without a sword in my hand. I fear I've missed a few opportunities.

Now it's not summer any longer and I'm still not managing enough fencing. Last week there was a shortage of epeeists. I was tired and fed up at waiting an hour for a bout by which time I was tired, unhappy and fed up. Then a couple of really good fencers fenced me and gave me useful advice and I felt ashamed that I'd been upset earlier.

Every so often it's hard to find opponents, especially when the salle is so crowded. It happens to foilists and even, occasionally, to sabreurs. Usually I fence foil if there aren't any epeeists. This time I was slightly late - I needed to pump the bike's front tyre - and by the time I got there the foilists were all engaged in a fierce competition. After a while, watching other people while waiting and hoping began to pall. But I did enjoy my bouts when I got them.

This week I was, unusually, away on work and not back in time for fencing so I'm once again desperate to stab someone. I haven't yet become desperate enough to lurk in the High Street to challenge unwary shoppers ... but there's a few days to wait till my next fencing evening, so you never know.

I don't think I'll try fencing on spiral staircases, however. Too many of those I've seen are rather narrow and I'm not convinced either my bladework or more footwork has the necessary precision.